it seems like im lost in my own darkness i have turned my back on love and all i have left is the pain that lost love creates the darkness in my heart seems like the only thing i have left and she doesn't understand that i am protecting her from....me...of course it has always been me i never trusted myself and now i see why love just creates pain and i cant stand my emotions anymore it all seems like a lost cause and with each passing day my heart gets heavier with sadness and loss i cant feel anything anymore it is like a whole other world is inside me wanting to get out i cant stand it anymore do i give in or fight do i love again or turn aggressive towards the world these questions constantly haunt my memories and my dreams it all seems so lost i have gone back to lock my emotions away at least then i wont hurt anyone but myself on the inside i used to let it out by cutting but the real answer was so much simpler dont do anything i cant hurt myself physically or anyone else anymore love is just doom waiting to happen and i guess if i really love her I'll stay away because if i let her know how i feel she gets hurt and upset and yells at me not to think like that but when she says that i ask myself how do i stop these thoughts how do i stop this pain do i just let it all go or fall further within myself i am so depressed that i am sick to my stomach now and with each passing day it gets worse so i dont know what to do anymore can my heart be truly locked away if so how do i do it i dont want to feel anymore it is all just hurt if i think then i just get depressed yet if i keep myself distracted with friends and video games i am just running from my problems so what to do? am i destined to be alone and lost forever or am i just stuck on nothing what ever it is i dont have the answer and i dont know where to find it.